Let it be
Wow. So many months since I have written an entry in this silly little blog of mine. Is anyone even reading it? Sigh…
To be perfectly honest, I am uncertain if anything I am doing these days is actually blog worthy. I am no longer in an exotic country, no longer healing from the loss of things that I loved, and while the loss of my best friend is still sad and on my mind, I have in some how, someway made peace with it.
On that note, I still have dreams about Teri, and my ex boy, somehow is always with her, I lost them both in the same 24 hours. But, those dreams give me comfort, somehow, they bring me peace….the people that meant so much to me still live on, just in dreams, and the dreams I have are so beautiful and poignant that it seems okay…I know it’s fucked up and twisted, but this is the best way I can make sense of a very strange world I happened to be intertwined in….
Let it be, as the Beatles would say….
Since being back in America, Hawaii, I just have been living a very humble life. I have a cat who has become my best friend, my greatest accomplice, and taking each day as it comes. One of these days I will maybe bite the bullet and actually be a real teacher…someday. I don’t know; I am pretty content at camp. Just living, taking beach walks and runs at sunset, meeting as many people as I can, exchanging my tears and heart aches of the years previous with light heartedness laughter and random nights out in Haleiwa. The people I lost still live on, in a weird way, through moments that are hard to explain through words.
Anyways, I guess what I am trying to say, though as obscure as I sound, is that I am happy and content, at life is at the moment. No Prince Charming is sweeping me off my feet, I don’t have a best friend in Hawaii (beyond my cat), and no, I don’t have a dream job of any sort. But, life, on some weird level of the word is good, I honestly have no sincere complains, beyond the usual daily grind of life. I have friends and a job, and a job that gets me by, and I guess that’s all one can ask for.
I feel the things I lost were necessary for me to be here in this moment, this exact spot, in beautiful Hawaii. And I am very lucky. This I know. I have a house on the ocean, a very simple job, and a promise of a career.
I have bought a long board, which I am slowly but surely trying to learn how to ride properly, and yeah, that’s about it. I finished my sub classes…I am officially allowed to sub in schools in Hawaii, which will be awesome, so I can slowly work my way into the schools and my dream of being a teacher will inevitably happen…
Yeah, so that’s my update. Just living the dream, one day at a time….
Shani trying to walk Bua
Val and I Kareoking it up
Morgan and Brett at sunset
Me, Morgs, and Kandace at Breakers
Marianna and Memo at sunset
Fourth of July!
